Genetics

Well it turns out I have genetic issues. The kind that causes me to have RPL - repeat pregnancy loss. Oh the fun. Let me tell you my story - normally I wouldn't indulge myself but who cares? No one is reading right?

Wednesday morning. Kevin is gone, off on a business trip. I drop Isaac off and head to my 2 week follow up from my D&C for most recent miscarriage. I get to the office and am ushered back to a room and asked to take my pants off. Hmmm. I wish this story was as much fun as it appears....

Doc: Good morning, how are you?
Me(sans pants): Great, how are you?
Doc: How have you been feeling since the proceedure
Me: like total crap - still bleeding.
(Insert speculum and other medical utensils here)
Doc: looks like everything is fine - you should stop bleeding soon. We need to do a complete genetic screening on you to see if we can find the cause of your miscarriages.
Me: Uh, the other Dr ordered one two weeks ago- thought we were going over the results today.
(insert Dr. paper shuffling then excusing himself to go get results from the nurse)
Doc:Nurse is checking, we will see in just a few minutes what the tests have to say.
Me: Could it be that the mc's were normal and that Isaac my son was abornmal? What I mean is, could it be that he was just a miracle and I wasn't meant to have kids?
Doc: Anything is possible, but I highly doubt your son was an anomalie. The chance of something coming up on the screening is highly unlikely.

Nurse: here you go Doc.

Doc:Well, that is surprising, but good. You have a genetic mutation that is causing your miscarriages. It is a disorder that causes clotting in the placenta.
Me: What? What is it called? Is it common? What is the treatment?
Doc: Not common but treatable - with heparin or lovenox. Both are shots that you administer to yourself daily that thin your blood.
Me:For how long?
Doc: Your whole pregnancy. The shots are given 2 or 3 times a day.
Me: (crying) maybe I was right about Isaac then? I mean genetics don't change, right?
Doc:Actually you are right - there is no medical explanation for your son.
Me: Okay, well what next?
Doc:I will see you in 4 weeks, call with any questions and don't try to get pregnant until at least July.
Me: Yeah, not exactly thinking that I want to conceive at all - let alone in the next 4 weeks.

Then I leave and cry for the next 4 hours. I mean before, I thought I just had bad luck. Now I have a diagnosis. A real one. From a good doctor. How did this happen? I have some really big decisions to make. Do I go through with another pregnancy, hoping that the shots and all of the medicine will work? Or do I call it a day and be thankful that I have one child? I swear, I feel like the oldest 29 year old ever. Where did all of the carefree days go? I miss them. I miss not being worried about a $3000 mortgage payment, how to potty train, making the right career moves, skin cancer from taning, coloring my gray hairs and having children. Imiss that for several years of my early adulthood my biggest worry was getting an A in my Politcal Science classes. I wish I could go back and tell that young woman to have a little more fun because life isn't getting any easier from here............