Mornin'

Dear Coffee,

I love you. However, we need to talk. You and I go way back, since the college days really. We were there for each other before Starbucks was cool. You stayed with me through that awful flavored liquid creamer stage I went through. I loved you through pregnancy, twice, even though many an evil eye was cast upon me for continuing to partake in your illicit caffeine goodness while with child.

But lately, oh lately you've been disappointing me. Instead of giving me that hard packing caffeine jolt I so need, you've been giving me a "eh" shoulder shrug of energy. What's with that? Do I need to drink more of you? Do I need to increase the bean to water ratio? I expect greatness from you caffeine - it's part of the deal. I give you my undying love, I don't cheat on your with Red Bull (but she sure is pretty) and you give me the strength to make it through the day even though I only got 3 hours of sleep last night because Joshua is straight punking me.

Look, we have a deal - it hasn't changed in 12 years. You wake me up with a smile and I remain loyal. Don't make me pull a Bill Clinton on you and look for something younger and more "hip". I don't mean to threaten you Coffee but seriously. Seriously.

With Guarded Love,

Me